Mother/Daughter travel can be as challenging as it is fun. After a lifetime of traveling with my daughter and watching her grow from a child to a woman, there are obviously different challenges traveling with her now than when she was a kid. When she was little, our trips pretty much revolved around her schedule: waking up, trying to allow time for a nap, and getting her to bed. On trips there was a lot of letting her eat and drink whatever and whenever she wanted to keep her energetic and in a good mood. My husband and I used to give her a Coke if we felt like her energy and mood were waning. As she grew up and developed her own interests on a trip, this changed things greatly. Interestingly enough, she has no interest in “creating content”, which as an Instagram Influencer and Blogger, I have and need to do. She loves taking pictures, but more so to print out or make hard copy photo albums. In fact, sometimes she doesn’t even have her Instagram activated and just wants to take in sites without taking pictures at all.
While most of my major trips are solo now, I am still lucky enough that we get to do at least one or two Mother/Daughter trips a year, and oftentimes when she goes on conferences for work, she will ask me to join her. I am so grateful that she wants my company, but I must tip my hat to myself after a lifetime of making a priority to have a good relationship with my daughter. Even in pregnancy, I read lots on the topic and asked phenomenal mothers of daughters I encountered down through the years for their advice on creating a strong bond with my daughter.
Here are the top FIVE tips I have for Mother/Daughter travel – and life!
1. Your daughter is an individual!
She has her own likes, dislikes, characteristics and personality traits. She is NOT a little clone of you or to fulfill your dreams of your imagined perfect daughter. My daughter is like me in many ways from looks to certain personality traits, but she has ways about her that are 180 degrees opposite from me, and even my husband.
2. Be flexible!
Have a day full of activities she wants to do and an day full of activities you want to do. For example, I love seeing street art, and obviously, I need/want to create content for my Instagram and blog. My daughter loves taking pictures, but she doesn’t need to create content or want to see things that I want that are on lists of “Most Instagrammable” in a particular city. So we make an effort to have days structured around creating content, and then days structured around the things she enjoys doing. Luckily, she is good about researching those Instagrammable sites to help me, and she will wait patiently if we are somewhere she isn’t that enthused about as I do what I need to do. On days that are more geared towards what she wants to see, I try and keep my content creating to a minimum – even refraining from asking her to take pictures of me at a certain place – especially if it’s something I wasn’t interested in in the first place.
3. Get headphones!
I wake up around 5:00 am, sometimes even 4:30 am like I usually do at home, while my daughter wakes up anywhere between 7 and sometimes 10! I make a serious effort to be as quiet as possible until she wakes because this is vacation for her and time to sleep in Headphones are essential for listening to music, TV, audiobooks or whatever I have while I let her sleep. If our room has a coffee pot I will even move it into the bathroom so that my morning coffee making doesn’t wake her. Plus, I wanted her rested for an enjoyable day! LOL
4. Treat your daughter as you would a friend!
Once she’s grown, it’s not really a Mother/Daughter trip as much as two grown women on a trip together. Stay out of mother mode. You know the mode: asking “is that what you’re gonna wear/how you’re gonna do your hair?” Or “Are you sure you don’t want to…” Things like that. If she’s grown enough to pay her way for a Mother/Daughter trip or at least pay for parts of it, she deserves the respect of being treated like an adult without you nagging. Stay out of mom mode! (This might be the hardest thing.)
5. Get a suite – even if it’s a little suite – so you can each have your own space.
After two grown women spending the day together, you probably want (i.e. need) your own space – to watch what you want to watch on TV, read a book, maybe have a little silence, maybe call a friend or loved one and just decompress from a day of sightseeing and being out of your normal routine. A full day of being together can test the closest of mother/daughters teams and being able to have the separation of a wall sometimes is just what you need to be able to keep traveling together!
I always say now, the only person I want to travel with now is my daughter. It’s solo for me – or traveling with my daughter, and I am so glad that she wants to travel with me too!
I hope these tips will help you not just in travel, but in navigating the constantly evolving relationship with your daughter!