American’s love affair with Paris goes all the way back to the days of Thomas Jefferson, and our general feeling that Parisians are “rude” probably goes back to the 18th century as well. But no matter our feelings based on reality of encounters with Parisians that have left us feeling bruised, we will keep flocking to Paris year after year.
We won’t let their stuffiness and scolding of us for not speaking French deter us from seeing The Eiffel Tower dazzling every hour on the hour in the evening, or from scores of young lovers going there to make a memorable engagement story. We will continue to brave their scorn of us so we can eat crepes by the pound, drink their wine by the bottle and cruise down the Seine in the City of Lights. There’s other beautiful European cities with many of the exact same charms but there’s just something about Paris that keeps us going back.
On my most recent trip there, I asked Jean Yves, my French tour guide, his tips based on observations of encounters with American visitors for a magnifique time in Paris.
So here are some tips from a Frenchman himself that will hopefully create much more amiable encounters with Parisians on your next trip!
1. Remember you’re in France, so speak French! At the very least say “Bonjour” before asking in English if they can assist you.
2. Learn a few basic courtesy words:
- Please – s’il vous plait (pronounced sill voo play)
- Thank you – merci (pronounced mare see)
- Miss, Mrs., Ms – Jean Yves suggested using Madame unless you’re speaking to a young girl,
- Mister – Monsieur (pronounced mi-sure)
3. Don’t dash up to someone, sounding very American and say “Hiiii, do you speak English?” This won’t go over well (refer back to tip #1)
4. In French culture, he said the customer is not king. The customer isn’t always right. You pay for a service, you receive it. Period.
5. The French have been approached by “The Ugly American” for so many generations until Jean Yves feels it’s important for us to be extra polite and again realize their first language is French – NOT ENGLISH. If someone approached you here in the U.S. and immediately asked if you spoke anything other than English you would be indignant.
And finally my own personal tip:
6. Remember – you are in France. They have a long-established culture and we’re the visitor/guest. If someone came over to your house and you asked them to take off their shoes, and they refused, you would be astonished at their lack of respect. They are a guest in your home, and we expect guests to feel welcome but to respect the rules of our home. Attempt to appreciate their culture and their ways hand in hand with their stunning sights.
7. Restaurant culture is totally French (or not American). If you’re in a hurry – don’t go to a sit-down restaurant. But, when you do go, relax, relax, relax, take your time, savor your conversation as well as the food. And you’ll need to ask for the bill and patiently wait for it. Dining is a whole different vibe and since you’re there, why not try it their way?
My first trip touring France was in 1993, and while I loved the breathtaking sights, I was totally put off by the encounters I had with those in hospitality. I didn’t return until 2019, with my daughter who spoke excellent French, and we LOVED it. It was a different experience. Possibly they have changed a little with the generations but you can’t tell me that speaking French didn’t make a world of difference. I enjoyed it so much that I went back this year.
In closing, humbling yourself and realizing you’re the visitor will lead to trip to Paris (or anywhere in France for that matter) that will be unforgettable! Learn some phrases to make your encounters with natives go a little smoother. Bonne chance et bon voyage (good luck and have a great trip)!
I just realized, using these tips could actually help dispel the “Ugly American” image most anywhere in the world. Agree!!?? What tips have you found helpful in enjoying a culture abroad??