Solo travel is usually my go-to as an over-60 traveler, but there’s nothing I love more than seeing the world with my daughter! Mother daughter travel is lots of fun, but it’s also challenging. After a lifetime of traveling with my daughter, Liz, and watching her grow into a woman, those challenges start to change. When Liz was little, our trips pretty much revolved around her schedule: waking up, trying to allow time for a nap, and getting her to bed. My husband and I used to give her a Coke to keep her awake and in a good mood!
But as Liz got older and developed her own interests, things changed greatly. She isn’t into creating content and taking pictures like I am, and she has a schedule of her own to contend with when we plan travel.
While most of my major trips are solo now, I am still lucky enough that we get to do at least one or two mother daughter trips a year. I am so grateful that she wants my company, and I’m glad that I always made a good relationship with my daughter a priority. But even now, we both have to work to keep that relationship strong and amicable. When we travel, I make a big effort to stay out of “mom mode” and keep the trip enjoyable for us both. So, here are my tips for mother daughter travel—and life in general!
1. Remember Her Individuality
When your daughter was a child, she probably felt like an extension of you. But remember that as she gets older, she has her own likes, dislikes, characteristics and personality traits. She is NOT a little clone of you, and her purpose is not to be your “perfect” child. My daughter is like me in many ways (from looks to certain personality traits), but she’s also my opposite in others. It’s all about recognizing her individuality and respecting her as an independent person!
2. Account for Her Wants, Too
On a solo trip, I love getting to choose only the activities I want to do. But when it’s time for mother daughter travel, I’m careful to make sure Liz has a chance to do things she enjoys, too. I always recommend having a full day of activities that you want to do, and then another day full of the activities your daughter is looking forward to. For example, I love seeing street art and posing for social media pictures. Maybe our first day will be seeing the most Instagrammable spots, but the next I’ll keep the content creation to minimum. I know Liz doesn’t love taking photos as much as I do, so I might even refrain from asking her to be my photographer.
3. Headphones Are Essential
Headphones are more important than you might think! Keep in mind that any noise you make on your trip could disturb your daughter. In my case, I tend to wake up very early, around 5:00 am, while Liz is sometimes still asleep until 10:00! With this in mind, I always try to be as quiet as possible and use headphones to enjoy my music, TV, or audiobooks while she sleeps. You definitely want your travel partner rested for an action-packed day!
3. Get headphones!
I wake up around 5:00 am, sometimes even 4:30 am like I usually do at home, while my daughter wakes up anywhere between 7 and sometimes 10! I make a serious effort to be as quiet as possible until she wakes because this is vacation for her and time to sleep in Headphones are essential for listening to music, TV, audiobooks or whatever I have while I let her sleep. If our room has a coffee pot I will even move it into the bathroom so that my morning coffee making doesn’t wake her. Plus, I wanted her rested for an enjoyable day! LOL
4. Treat Your Daughter Like a Friend
In some ways, “mother daughter travel” isn’t a great name for going on vacation with your grown children. Once they’re out of the house with a job, it’s less a mother daughter trip and more “two grown women on a trip together.” So, do your best to stay out of mother mode. You know what I mean—asking, “is that what you’re going to wear?” or “are you sure you don’t want to…” If she’s grown enough to pay her way onto your mother daughter trip, she deserves the respect of being treated as an adult without you nagging. It’s hard sometimes, but you’ll likely have a better relationship with your daughter to show for it!
5. Invest in Your Own Space
If your travel budget allows it, invest in getting separate rooms. After spending the entire day together, you might need your own space to decompress. A full day of being together can test even the closest of mother daughter teams and being able to have the separation of a wall sometimes is just what you need.
6. Choose Destinations That Interest You Both
When you’re coming up with mother daughter trip ideas, be sure to consider destinations you’ll both enjoy. If you love the beach, but she hates the heat, try to find a coastal city that’s less hot and humid. If you could spend all day in a museum, but she prefers shopping, there are plenty of destinations that can accommodate you both. It’s crucial to pick a place where both of you have a good time. For Liz and I, these trips were winners:
- Christmas Markets—This winter, Liz and I took a wonderful cruise around France and Germany where we visited several Christmas markets. The cold wasn’t too bad, and we got to see some incredible architecture.
- Washington, DC—The nation’s capital is perfect for a mother daughter vacation. We sampled some of DC’s most popular Black-owned restaurants on a recent trip, and if you go in the spring, you might even catch the cherry blossoms!
- Minneapolis—I am a huge Prince fan, and my daughter and I loved spending a weekend in his hometown. In addition to all the music-themed attractions, we also loved the Mall of America.
Where Will You Go on Your Mother Daughter Vacation?
Taking a mother daughter getaway is one of the best ways to strengthen your relationship, but an ill-planned trip can also be a challenge. I’m so happy that Liz and I have it down to a science! Of course, not everything goes smoothly, but we always come out stronger for it. I hope these tips will help you not just in travel, but in navigating the constantly-evolving relationship with your daughter! Follow me through all my travels (solo and otherwise) on Instagram.